Is Honesty the Best Policy

The following article was published by Abi on Online Dating Tips.  I used to be vehemently opposed to any transgressions in personal ads.  I was always honest, because I really didn't want anyone to be surprised when they met me and I felt if the other person lied about something it would really not set a good tone for how the relationship might move forward.   I have been convinced by others that it might be okay to fib about your age a bit to come up in searches that you might otherwise be eliminated from based on the age ranges - if you are clear up front in your ad or first few exchanges about your real age. 

As SSBBWs I'm curious as to how others handle the weight issue.  I always put my exact weight in the ad.  Like I said, I don't want anyone to be surprised when they meet me.  Someone's version of an SSBBW or BBW might be different than mine -- and I'd prefer to be on the same track with them before we meet.  How do you handle this issue?

Is Honesty The Best Policy? – The Risks You Take When You Lie On Your Profile

By Abi – Online Dating Tips.Com August 27, 2010

Looking for a boost in profile views? Generalizations about what the opposite sex wants might inspire you to fib a little on your profile. Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re thinking of typing up a few harmless falsehoods. 

The first time you sit down to craft that dating profile, a small thrill of power shoots through your fingers.  You get to decide how to present yourself.  You get to decide which side of you prospective matches see first.  It’s perfectly natural that in this moment of power you think, “How much could one little white lie hurt?”

Well, if it’s super little, it won’t hurt much.  If, for example, you claim to be an inch taller than you are, you’re probably in the clear.  Most people don’t show up to dates with tape measures, and a difference so small isn’t likely to matter to anyone else as much as it does to you.  But if you’re thinking of adding several thousand dollars to your yearly income or claiming you smoke rarely when you go through two packs a day, you might want to remind yourself that at some point, they will find out.  And when they do, here’s what you have to lose:

You’ll look like a liar. Never underestimate how much this matters.  If you claim to look like something you don’t, you don’t get to pull the “How dare you judge me by my looks” card when your date ditches you at the door.  Bottom line: people don’t like dishonesty, no matter how irrelevant the lie.  And as soon as your date learns that you fibbed at first contact, he’ll be wondering how many more lies you’ve got in store for him.

You’ll seem insecure. Personal confidence is paramount to sex appeal.  You will always have a hard time attracting the opposite sex if your potential matches can see that you don’t even believe you’re a great catch.  Now, you may have all the confidence in the world; you just want to fib a little bit because you read an article that says women love men who cook.  Even so, when your date eyes your burnt omelets and realizes your game, she may wonder if you felt you had to make things up because you didn’t believe you had anything real to offer.

You probably won’t get what you want. Cute tomboys are the best, right?  They’re good-looking, but they still love to get muddy and spend their Sundays watching football with their feet on the coffee table.  What more could a man want?  It seems like it’s in a woman’s best interest to try the tomboy routine.  One problem . . . if you claim to love football, you will be approached by men who want to share that with you.  Fellas, if you claim to love Salsa dancing, you will meet women who want to share that with you.  And if any of you claim to make $900,000 a year, you will most definitely be approached by passionate prospectives who want to share that with you.

So really, your best bet is to be who you are and let your real identity serve you well.  It’s very difficult to find a true match when you’re only displaying a masked version of yourself.  Not to mention, the truth always reveals itself eventually.  Spare yourself the mess and keep it real from the very start.